"Avatar" Review

Whether you like James Cameron's movies or not, its hard to resist seeing them. The first creation in a decade by the man who directed the highest grossing movie in the world formed such an immense amount of hype that it couldn't possibly live up to... and didn't, at all. Not to say that I hated it, its just that everyone is talking about it being amazing and destroying box office records, when really and truly it just isn't going to happen, and people who say this must be high on several forms of drugs. I even read one review that said “Best movie of the last 30 years”... WTF IS WITH THESE PEOPLE???

When I go to the cinemas I generally like to see a decent storyline, and while visuals can help, they aren't generally the most important thing. That said, the visuals were fucking incredible, like, just amazing. However, I still see 3D as a pointless addition to any movie, and this hasn't really sold me on the idea, but as I'll be seeing this movie again later this week in 2D I'll make my final judgment on 3D then.

Somehow a decade ago this man managed to bring thousands of people into cinemas to tell a story that they already knew the basic ending to, and still left many of them crying. Avatar is not going to leave anyone crying (Unless they're pathetic overly emotional wankers), except when they hear lines like “We are here to mine Unobtainium”. Sick play on words James, very proud. Couldn't think of anything more original? What was he thinking... “Hmm... maybe I'll throw $400 million into special effects and use the other $50 million on pot to smoke while I write the script...”. And thats not the only annoying one, there are corny annoying lines littered throughout the script, and while both Worthington and Weaver's acting is well done, some of the lines are too irritating to ignore. And trust me, by the end of the movie you'll be sick of seeing people look at each other emotionally and saying “I see you” like its a futuristic fucking game of peek-a-boo.

The underlying theme of “anti-technology” throughout the movie is a little ironic to take in while watching the most advanced computer graphics ever put on screen, it feels like the movie is mocking you, condescending to your materialistic attitude. Now I don't know about you, but I don't generally liked to be judged by my movies, I go there to be entertained. And while my eyes were entertained my brain wanted to kill itself and others. And the religion aspect also annoyed the shit out of me, why cant these kind of things just fuck off already? “I am legend” also tried to pull this bullshit, and it didn't add anything to that fucken movie either.

Now while I wasn't that excited by it, I'm definitely not telling people not to see it. If you're happy with a mediocre story and some corniness with incredible graphics, go ahead. But while I think James Cameron is an incredible storyteller, to me it seemed like he just didn't have a decent story to tell.

Edit:
Saw it in 2D today, very little difference. Still not sold on the whole 3D idea, but meh, what are ya gonna do? Still don't see how this movie is getting constant insanely good reviews, and once again wanted to vomit every time someone said "I see you" or mentioned anything about Eywa (The pandorian deity XD)